Gift Shop

Take home a souvenir from your visit to Villain Pines. Availability, reality, and inventory may vary.

Best Sellers

Guaranteed not to open any existing door. May occasionally unlock possibilities.

Official commemorative badge for visitors who have definitely never entered the East Wing.

Soft. Friendly. Watches quietly. Please do not leave near mirrors.

World's Second Best Evil Genius. Dishwasher safe. Mostly.

Record your own unexplained events, contradictory memories, and suspicious observations.

Contains one additional statue every time you shake it. Management denies this claim.

NEW — Baron Gloom Official Bingo Set

Includes chandelier incident rulebook and emergency scorecards.

NEW — Villain Pines Facility Map

Current Edition. Accuracy not guaranteed.

NEW — East Wing Refrigerator Magnet

This item should not exist.

★★★★★ "Bought the Room 113 keychain. Found a door. Wish I hadn't."

★★★★★ "The Whisper Plushie arrived before I ordered it."

★★★★☆ "Map was very helpful. Building was not."

★★★★★ "Excellent gift shop. Staff seemed surprised I could see it."

All sales are final.

Temporal refunds require management approval.

Villain Pines is not responsible for paradoxes caused by souvenir misuse.

If an item begins speaking, retain proof of purchase.